Lately, I've been thinking a lot about my writing. Thinking being the key word there, not actually writing. I have a new idea. I think it's pretty good. But I feel guilty working on it when I haven't even finished my current WIP. I also feel like my current WIP is pretty good. Or I did. But then this nasty little voice gets into the back of my head and whispers "it's not good enough." Or "this is garbage, no one will ever want to read this." And it makes me not want to write at all. I know that I over-analyze and I know that I'm my harshest critic, but I wonder if it will ever be good enough in my mind. Good enough to send out. Good enough to query. Good enough to get an agent. Good enough to get published. Will I ever achieve this crazy dream of mine?
Not at the rate I'm going. Because the doubts creep in and I shut my laptop and move on to other things. Every time I've tried to write lately, the doubts come back and I give up. When I first started working on my current WIP, it was like word vomit. The words just poured out and it was almost easy to write that first draft. And then revisions came and they sucked and were hard and they're still hard and I kind of hit a road block.
So I decided to start working on the new idea to give myself a break from revising. But the words aren't flowing. And I wonder if that means that I can't write anymore. Maybe it's not meant to be. Becoming a published and successful author is hard work and maybe I'm not cut out for it. It doesn't help that work has been insanely busy lately and I've had zero free time.
But the thought of not achieving that dream kills me. Because I have no idea what else I want to do with my life. I feel lost, like I'm drifting away at sea with no life vest and eventually a wave is going to come and wash me and all my dreams away. And I know that sounds super emo and dramatic, but I that's kind of how I'm feeling right now. Maybe I'm just having a mid-twenties crisis or something.
So what do I do? How do I make that voice in the back of my head shut up? How do I let go of these doubts so I can focus on my writing again? Have you ever had this problem? Not necessarily with writing, it could be anything that you're trying to do. What do you do to combat it?
The thing is I don't know how to help. I'm on a similar page. I have a new idea and I'm writing it but I'm so much slower than I usually am. I don't like the thought that keeps coming back saying the idea isn't good enough. But I know it is. All I can say is good luck!
ReplyDelete*sigh* well at least I know I'm not alone. We just have to push through and get the words out, I guess. Good luck to you as well!
DeleteSorry to hear things aren't going well with the writing, but don't give up!!! I can't really give you any advice because I wish I could write fiction, that was always my dream. Have you thought about a writer's group? I don't know how you would find one, but that may help, talking over things with other people going through the same thing. It really seems like all of the writers we read help each other out. If you love it, keep doing it, though! ~Pam
ReplyDeleteThanks! I have thought about a writer's group. It would probably be good for me. Maybe I'll look and see if there are any around where I live. I definitely love it and I'm not quitting, just struggling right now.
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