So today I want to talk about something serious. I've been receiving a lot of negativity in my life lately and it's really been bringing me down. The best place for me to turn is to you guys. You're always so supportive and so helpful and I just want to say thank you to every single one of my readers for that. I love you all.
As most of you know I moved from Washington state to Virginia about 6 months ago. (Wow, has it already been six months? Feels like yesterday.) I started a new job and started making new friends. All good things. But what happens when your new friends try to change you. Try to turn you into someone that you're not. I wrote a post two weeks ago about not forgetting the real world. Basically how I need to get out more and learn to set the books aside. I still think that's true. I also wrote a post last week questioning whether I was too nice.
Both of these posts were inspired by some of my new friends. I've been going out with them a lot more and it's been great. But I'm going to level with you guys. I'm not the type of person that wants to go out every weekend. I much prefer quiet weekends at home or even having people over to going out and hanging at the bar. For one, the bar is way too expensive. I can't afford to go out every weekend. Two I really do enjoy those fun nights with people over where you just play games, watch movies, and hang out. Why do we always have to go out?
My friends have made several comments along the lines of I'm not social enough and that I'm lame because I like to stay home and read. Why does that make me lame? You know what. It doesn't. This is who I am. Take it or leave it. It's not like I never go out with them. I do. So don't sit there and make me feel bad when I want to spend the weekend at home with my husband and my books.
Onto the whole "I'm too nice" thing. If you read that post I gave a few examples. Some of my new friends have said that I'm way too nice and that basically I need to learn to be bitchier. I laughed at the time, but the more I think about it, the angrier it makes me. Why is it a bad thing to be nice? It shouldn't be. So I care about people. So I think about them and I try to be helpful. Why is that wrong?
I don't think it is. So I'm taking a stand. I am who I am. I will not change who I am as a person for anybody else. I will not be somebody I'm not just so I can have friends. If that's what it takes, then those aren't the kinds of people I need in my life.
Has this ever happened to you? Share your experience and how you dealt with it!
Aawwww. I miss you. We could hang out and be homebodies together.
ReplyDeleteAwww, I miss you too! This is why we are such good friends. :)
DeleteAmen, sister-friend. Truly, you only have so much time and energy in this world. Why spend it with or on people who don't appreciate you for who you actually are. I'm totally of the mind that having a few friends who really know me and love me is superior to having many shallow acquaintances.
ReplyDeletePlus, I love staying home with my family and alone time spent reading. I much prefer backyard fires, and movie nights than bar time anyways. It's much higher quality friend-time and like you said, way cheaper. Who want's to spend all their book funds on overpriced drinks every weekend? This post just makes me like you even more! :)
Awww thank you dear! You're the best! And I totally agree about the higher quality friend time. It's so much better to be able to just chill in a quiet setting vs. screaming to hear each other in a crowded bar.
DeleteForget them. Friends that want to change every inch of your personality aren't really your friends. I mean, who are they really going to like? You, or the person they've created?
ReplyDeleteI understand wanting to be alone sometimes and just reading a book or watching a movie. There's nothing wrong with that! Plus going to bars every weekend gets boring, no?
I can be your friend xD We'd go to bookstores and compare how good the book-to-movie adaptations are and whatnot.
Keep your chin up, there's nothing wrong with who you are! :)
Awww thank you!!! <3 *squishy hugs* We are totally friends. One day we will go to bookstores and do just that.
DeleteAtta girl. :D That kindnesswill serve you well, I promise! As for wanting to stay home--I think people who go out a lot don't get that some of us are just naturally more comfortable staying in more. I'm an introvert by nature. I'm comfortable out in public, but I need time to myself, and going out all the time just doesn't sound as fun to me as it does to some people, you know? Some people will get it, and the ones who don't want to aren't worth it. <3
ReplyDeleteAwww!! Thank you! Agreed. <3
DeleteDefinitely don't change who you are for anyone else! Go out when you want to go out and stay home when you want to stay home. It sounds cliche, but if they're truly your friends, they won't care and if they do, then they aren't.
ReplyDeleteSorry you're going through a tough time! It's always hard moving and having to start over when it comes to making friends. I've been there. ~Pam
Exactly my point! It's okay. I know it will get better. :)
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