Thursday, September 5, 2013

How to Complete Your To-Be-Read List Before You Die


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We all have that fear. That we will die without reading all the books on our to-be-read list. I know I do. Sometimes I feel like all I should do is sit and read 24/7 so I can finish all the books. So I decided to devise a fail-proof plan to complete your TBR list before you die.  

            
Follow These Steps to Complete Your TBR List Before You Die:

  1. Win the lottery so you can buy all the books 
  2. Quit your job  
  3. Hire a personal book delivery person to hand-deliver all books.  
  4. Create a reading nook complete with bathtub, toilet, freezer, and microwave. This way you never have to leave your room.   
  5. Stock the freezer full of hotpockets.  
  6. Position yourself so you are near the toilet at all times. Why? See #5.   
  7. Always keep a minimum of 50 books in stock in case of emergency.  
  8. Get rid of any animals or small children so you are no longer responsible for feeding them.  
  9. Say goodbye to your family/loved ones. You won't be seeing them again. 
  10. Disconnect the internet. 
  11. The only website/app you are allowed to visit is Goodreads to check books off your list and of course, to add more. 
  12. Keep your Kindle nearby along with its power adapter in case your book delivery person is delayed. 
  13. If you must clean yourself, you may only take baths so you can bring your book with you. 
  14. In case of fire, grab all books. Disregard your own safety or the safety of others. This shouldn't be a problem if you already completed step #8 and #9.  
  15. By now you've probably neglected to pay your electric bill. Invest in some candles so your reading is uninterrupted.  
  16. Have book delivery person buy you a blender. Why? You've probably neglected to brush your teeth so by now all your teeth have fallen out. You'll need to blend your hotpockets and eat them through a straw. 
  17. Prepare an audio book collection for when you go blind. 
Congratulations! If you have followed the above steps you should complete your TBR list before you die. Unless of course, you just started that new series and oh wait, there's that other new series coming out, and that new standalone, and that new debut author everyone is talking about and what about....Oh f***. 
Maybe God will let me bring my books to heaven?   


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6 comments:

  1. ChelseaSeptember 5, 2013 at 5:14 PM

    Ha. This is great. I'm particularly a fan of the, "Win lottery, quit job, stock freezer with hot pockets," path, as well as the "In case of fire, grab all books." I've just come to the conclusion that I'll never read everything on my TBR pile. Which is why I feel like I need to go through my Goodreads list of be realistic about what I will and will not read at this point in my life >_< It stresses me out to see 184 books next to "to-read," label.

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    1. Rebecca @ Unbound PagesSeptember 5, 2013 at 6:35 PM

      Thanks! I also feel super overwhelmed by the sheer amount of books on my TBR list. And the fact that I add at least 2-3 more per week. I'm never going to finish! And if I go through and try to take some books off it doesn't work. It's worse than when I try and clean out my closet and I'm all "I haven't worn this in awhile, but I might wear it someday." Same thing only worse. I think "I haven't even tried that book, how can I take it off my list?" Fail. Hopefully God will let me bring my books to heaven for reals. Or I will be one sad girl.

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  2. EmilySeptember 5, 2013 at 11:02 PM

    Yeah, sometimes I feel as if I don't read a certain amount per day I get stressed, but then I realize that my TBR pile will always increase and never decrease and that there are more important things than reading. *GASP* Did I just say that?! But seriously though, I have come to terms with the fact that I will never read every book I want to read. But great post!! haha :)

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    1. Rebecca @ Unbound PagesSeptember 7, 2013 at 11:36 AM

      I have not come to terms with that fact, yet my TBR list keeps growing and it totally freaks me out! Everytime I go on goodreads and see how many books or on my to read list I die a little inside. Lol guess I need to accept the fact that I probably won't get to all of them. But how do you decide which ones to read??

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  3. Sue @ CrushingcindersMay 16, 2014 at 5:12 AM

    Loved this... My pile grows much quicker than I can read. They might have to dig my body out from under all the books :-)

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    1. Rebecca @ Unbound PagesMay 16, 2014 at 7:12 AM

      Truth. I read about 4 books per week, which really is quite a bit, but I swear I add at least ten books a week to my TBR. Those numbers are not looking good. Lol.

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