Why I've Fallen Off the Face of the Earth

If you come around here a lot, you've probably noticed that I've been rather quiet lately. Nonexistent actually. I apologize for the unannounced and unexpected hiatus and I'm hoping you'll all understand. 

Last Wednesday I got a call from my Mom. My Grandmother had fallen and cracked her neck. She was not a candidate for surgery and could no longer swallow. The doctors said that if anyone wanted to see her, they needed to come quickly. Her health had been declining rapidly over the last 4-5 years so it wasn't completely unexpected. But it's always a bit of a shock isn't it? 

So I left work, jumped on a plane to Minneapolis and was at the hospital by Wednesday night. My mom drove up with my sister and her girlfriend, Betsy, and they were able to pick me up from the airport on the way to the hospital. 

It was a rough weekend to say the least. It's always hard to see somebody you love be in such a state. My Grandma had requested a long time ago that she receive no feeding tube and no fluids. She was just getting enough fluids to push her pain medication through. It was really a matter of waiting. 

I wonder, is it easier when you know it's coming, even if it's long and drawn out, or is it easier when it happens quickly. You don't really have time to think about it too much. I suppose both ways are hard in their own respects. Really, it just sucks no matter what. Even if the person is old, even if it's their time. I don't think that anyone or anything can make it any easier. 

Well, my Grandma is a fighter and she held on until Monday night. I flew back home on Sunday because I had to get back to work. But I'm probably going to be on hiatus for at least the rest of this week, maybe longer. Or I might be a bit sporadic with posting for the next few weeks. 

I thought I would share some things about my Grandma and what an awesome person she was: 

1. One of my favorite memories of Grammy is when she would play hopscotch with us on the mall tiles when we were kids. 

2. I loved/hated playing Scrabble with her. She was epic at Scrabble. I always lost. But she loved to play. 

3. She made completely inappropriate jokes at family gatherings. The first time Phil (my husband) met her was at Christmas Eve and she made some sex joke. His jaw literally hit the floor. 

4. She was accepting of everything and everybody. She truly was a woman born before her time. She accepted everybody no matter what. Size, shape, color, sexual orientation. She was just wonderful like that. 

5. She was generous. Always giving stuff away. You couldn't tell my Grandma you liked something unless you really truly wanted it. Because the second you showed interest she would give it to you. 

6. She never missed a single birthday. 

7. She used to take us on fun trips when we were kids. To the circus. To Disney on Ice. She even once drove my sisters and I up to Minnesota from Chicago so we could visit our cousins. 

My Grandma was a wonderful person. She taught me to always be myself, no matter what anyone thought. If I wanted to wear red pants, I should wear red pants. If I wanted to play hopscotch on the mall tiles, then I should. She was a beautiful, strong, intelligent woman and she will be sorely missed. 

I'm happy you are at peace, Grammy, but I will miss you so much. I love you. 

Wish I had a better picture, but I don't on this computer. This was from my wedding. She looked great! 

Thanks everyone for your understanding and thoughts during this rough time. <3